Depicting OCD: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, is perceptually, albeit erroneously, synonymous with a desire for organization and cleanliness. This harmful misconception detracts from the severity of the debilitating disorder, perpetuating false self-diagnoses and an unconcerned dialogue surrounding the illness. OCD manifests as obsessive behaviors and/or compulsive (often intrusive) thoughts that obstruct one’s ability to properly function in daily life. Not engaging in these ritualistic beliefs and thoughts can cause one immense distress and anxiety. While they may realize that their thoughts or behaviors are irrational and excessive, the temporary relief given by their repetition encourages its persistence. Within this composition, I wanted to capture the all-encompassing nature of such behaviors and thoughts. The clocks symbolize the repetition inherent in the illness, the electricity-looking patterns capture the inability for one to sever themselves from the disorder, and the facial expression on the subject (while slightly covered) highlights the fixation people have with their compulsions or obsessive thoughts, and the itching need to satisfy those things.
Depicting PTSD: Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental illness that develops following exposure to a threatening or distressing life event. While the perception of PTSD is often synonymous with reliving wartime combat, PTSD can evolve from one’s experiences with domestic violence, natural disasters, crime, horrific accidents, and/or rape. Within this composition I wanted to capture the vulnerability of people living with PTSD as they navigate living with trauma all while being burdened with destructive rituals of self-blame, debilitating fear and anger (along with other heightened emotions), and retreating into a state of social isolation. As reflected in the distressed subject’s reflection trying to break out of the mirror, the theme of this piece was feeling trapped: individuals experiencing PTSD may feel trapped in their thoughts as they relive the trauma they experience, unable to sever it from their memories. The bare back of the subject further highlights the state of vulnerability and mental fragility these people are often in.
Depicting Addiction: Addiction has been widely portrayed in cinematic contexts, with afflicted characters often being categorized as tragic heroes, rebellious free spirits, demonized addicts or homicidal maniacs, narcissistic parasites, or comedic users. Each of these narratives inaccurately villainizes or glorifies this all-consuming internal battle, perpetuating the stigmatization and sensationalization of this chronic illness. Further, while desire is a central component of addiction, addiction is not a manifestation of a lack of self-control or moral compass. Instead, addiction has its roots in chemical alterations of the brain compounded by a complex interplay of genetic, psychological, and environmental factors. I wanted to dispel these hyperbolized depictions within my composition, highlighting the grim nature of such a destructive force while debunking the criminality and danger often associated with it. I tried to capture the distressing nature of the illness with the expression on the subject’s face, and had the lightning-like patterns emerge from the subject’s head to reflect the neurological and mental components of the illness.
Depicting Disordered Eating: Contrary to popular belief, anorexia is not a choice, it is not a mechanism to pursue thinness, nor is it easily detectable. People battling anorexia often shroud their behaviors and symptoms in secrecy, and hide bodies they’re often ashamed of in baggy clothing. The disorder more broadly stems from insecurities with oneself, or develops as a coping mechanism in response to a stressful event to institute any kind of control over their lives. To regain any consistency or stability amongst the chaos of life, people find solace in meticulously controlling their food intake. For this composition I wanted to capture the consequences of disordered eating you often don’t see: having the subject sit alone at a table reflects the social isolation people often pursue, the lack of pigmentation in the skin conveys the physical consequences of malnutrition, the messy hair is meant to demonstrate the hair loss often experienced, and the coffee (an appetite suppressant) as “food” is symbolic of the self-control and restraint people cling onto.
Depicting DID: Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a greatly misunderstood illness, often exaggerated to be associated with predatory, violent, and dangerous behaviors. However, people suffering from DID are not violent actors, they are people trying to mentally and psychologically survive. DID often develops in response to a traumatic life event so horrific that the only way to cope with such an atrocity is to break away from those memories (and with that, parts of their own personality) and dissociate completely into a new ‘person.’ This trauma often involves severe abuse that may directly contribute to neurobiological alterations. My composition reflects this dissociation from oneself by having two versions of the same person. The subject in the white top is emerging from the subject in the black top, as the two are different yet inextricably connected. The position of the subject in the white top is meant to ‘shield’ the original self from debilitating memories of past trauma. Furthermore, the spinning card reflects the unconscious ‘switching’ of personalities, often triggered by environmental factors, to demonstrate altering between personalities is not a deliberate choice made by the individual.
Note: While my composition reflects more severe cases of DID, DID may manifest as slight alterations in personality.
Depicting GAD: in my experience, has been perceived as interchangeable with frequent stressing or worrying. However, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is much more daunting, manifesting as an insurmountable, persistent feeling of anxiety. A lack of control over accompanying thoughts and feelings imposes immense challenges on individuals to perform daily tasks and maintain relationships. People suffering from GAD often experience constant twitching, agitation, and sleep deprivation. While the physical symptoms aren’t portrayed within my composition, I wanted to capture the catastrophizing, rumination, and excessive analysis inherent in individuals’ thinking processes through a blurred out figure with a distressed expression on their face. The tornado is further representative of the destructive, uncontrollable sense of inner turmoil and chaos people often experience.
